The Honoring of the Dead and Other Cultural Traditions

The Honoring of the Dead

The monks in their humble brown robes chanted prayers and offered incense. They led family members in Buddhist sutra (scripture) readings and reverent ceremonies which lasted several days. 

Our senior sister missionary's family at the home of her mother

Here is one of the most sacred and revered moments in a family’s existence. It is the honoring of the deceased. Our senior missionary sister lost her father one year ago, and recently returned to her home in central Taiwan to join her Buddhist mother, siblings and other family members in a reverent ceremony that seems to bring the spiritual realm and the physical world together even if just for a short while.

On this occasion, the one-year anniversary of the elderly father’s death, family members gathered at their widow-mother’s home. According to tradition, sons and all their children must be in attendance. Daughters are expected to be there as well, but their children’s attendance is optional. It is basically considered a mandatory family reunion. Family members will travel across the world to participate in this most sacred event. If a family member, especially a son, cannot attend in person, they can hire a person to attend in their stead. 

The family continues with the reading of sutras

The family prepared food for the gathering group as well as for lavish offerings for the deceased. The soft clanging of bells and clunking of sticks ring through the house with semi-monotone monk-chanting ceremonies which lasted for hours. The hiring of companies to perform these ceremonies has become a very lucrative business which vacillates between gang-controlled funeral organizations and cherished cultural traditions that span generations.

Regardless of the challenges and great expense these practices raise, filial piety brings out the best in feelings of love and adoration to loved ones who have passed away.

All this is done to help the deceased have a successful journey in the afterlife and bring blessings to the living. 

The passing away of an elderly person is typically considered a celebration of a life well-lived, and the one-year anniversary is a continuation of that celebration, although tears always flow as a sign of respect and gratitude. The one-year anniversary is considered one of the most important and filial-required duties of family members. 

Buddhist monks lead the family in the ceremonial rites.

Courtesy of flickr - Yuxuan Wang

When our senior sister missionary's father passed away, his name was printed on a wooden ancestral memorial tablet, called a 祖先牌位, or Zǔxiān páiwèi.  At this one-year death anniversary event, his name was then written on paper and added to an ancestral box, containing the names of all the ancestors as far back on the family line as possible. Only after a year of waiting can his name be added to the rest of the ancestors'. 

While we honor our dead in different ways in the Church, some traditions ring a bell of familiarity.  

Which brings us to the temple.

Why Does the Taipei Temple Have a Blue Roof?

Many people have noticed the bright blue roof of the Taiwan Taipei temple. It's penetrating, glazed tiles reflect the sunlight and stand as a beautiful focal point with the soft gray tiled walls and white spires. 

But why the blue, I asked?  The answer lies just a few kilometers away at the Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial Hall. The dominating Memorial Hall and the beautiful striking "Gate of Great Centrality and Perfect Uprightness" accentuate the blue tiles representing heaven, or the sky.  The whole Memorial Hall is designed to symbolize the "unification of Man and Heaven." 

In 2010, we visited China with one of our daughters, and fell in love with the three-tiered blue-roofed Temple of Heaven. There is so much beautiful symbolism in this structure - including the three tiers of heaven and the heaven-represented blue tiles. 

We have found the blue theme running throughout several of our Taiwan chapels as well. 

Once we understood the "man and heaven" unification symbolism, the blue roof of the temple seems very fitting. The temple is a House of God - a place where we can feel peace and where we can, with no distractions from the outside world, focus on the things of eternity and provide blessings for our loved ones who have passed away as well. Truly a bringing together of man and heaven.

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    Do Some Chinese Characters Really Teach Gospel Principles?

Chinese culture continues to surprise us with Gospel-related messages. The Chinese written language is an absolute treasure trove of hidden gems. Another "packet of light" was brought to my attention recently, this time hidden in the Chinese character for the word - "repent".

悔改

These are the two characters which make up the word "repent".  The first character on the left is "hui" and the one on the right is "gai". Putting them together you get "huigai", which means repent. 

But you can often break characters down further to get a richer meaning - a meaning behind the meaning. 

The character on the left,悔has two parts, or radicals. The radical on the left is one of the depictions of "ren" - or man, person. You can see a vertical line with two "arms" extending out - showing one of the very simplest pictures of a person. The radical on the right, 每, is the word for "mei" - meaning each. "ren" + "mei" = Each person.

The whole word by itself, 悔,"hui", means regret. So every person has regrets or makes mistakes.

Back to 悔改- the character on the right,改, is "gai" or change.

Now put them all together in pieces and you will have:

ren + mei + gai = each person change = repent.  Every person has regrets and needs to change, or repent. 

The President of our Church, whom we consider to be a prophet just like Moses or Isaiah or Peter, recently explained: "When we choose to repent, we choose to change! We allow the Savior to transform us into the best version of ourselves. We choose to grow spiritually and receive joy—the joy of redemption in Him. When we choose to repent, we choose to become more like Jesus Christ!" (President Russell M. Nelson, April 2019 General Conference)

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Just think of all the discoveries we could make in Chinese culture if we had time enough to study them all. There are volumes written about these similarities. So much to learn. So little time! We finish our mission in just 3-1/2 weeks!

Compliant and Free

As you probably know, Taiwan does not have a COVID-19 problem.

Taiwan has gone over 200 consecutive days without open COVID on the streets.

Courtesy of Flickr.com - Othree

But you know what?  You just can’t compare apples to…. well…. to noodles!  There is no comparison. None at all. You can't compare the situation in the US to Taiwan. For one thing, Taiwan is basically 1/3^rd the size of the state of Colorado. It is also surrounded by water. You have to fly or swim to get there.                            

Hualien coastline

Virtually the only way to enter the country is through the airports. You must have permission. You probably need a visa. To get a visa requires the country allowing you to come for a good reason. If you are from America and a few other countries, to get a visa also requires a “within-three-days-of-travel negative COVID test.”

Getting disinfected at airport

Once you arrive at the airport, even if you come with a negative COVID test, you are sprayed down with disinfectant, and whisked away to mandatory isolated quarantine for 14 days.

You do not leave your quarantine apartment. At all. Food is brought to you. The government checks on you daily. In many cases, you are required to undergo several additional COVID tests – just in case.  All this at your own expense. Anyone testing positive in these additional tests is immediately taken to a hospital for isolated observation and care.

If you continue to be COVID-free, only then are you allowed to enter the streets of Taiwan. Once on the streets, most people choose to wear masks full time but it is not required. Only on public transportation are you required to wear a mask. 

And at Church on Sundays -

 full two hours with everyone allowed at the same time.

The streets are safe.

Like I said, Taiwan is virtually COVID-free. No COVID on the streets. Completely safe. 

So, you know what Taiwan is going to do?

They are tightening the restrictions.

Yes, that’s right. Tightening the restrictions!

Starting December 1^st, masks will be required at the following places: medical facilities, mass transit, places of consumption, schools, exhibitions and athletic centers, entertainment venues, houses of worship, and business venues. That’s pretty much everywhere there are people.

Taiwan public announcement announcing new restrictions

Starting December 1^st, all travelers to Taiwan will be required to provide a “within-three-days-travel-to-Taiwan” negative COVID test.

A small child with a mask 
pulled down 

No one will complain. No one will riot. No one will protest. The fines for disobedience are steep (up to $526). In some cases, the punishment is prison. The people are just happily compliant, grateful for their near-normal life style.

I asked our local senior sister missionary if anyone has ever disobeyed the mask mandate on public transportation.  

She said, “Of course!”

Surprised, I asked, “How many people?”

She replied, “Just one. He’s in jail now.”

Catching Blessings on a Lotus Leaf

I recently took an early morning walk through the National Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall gardens. They are beautiful. Aside from the absolutely stunning buildings on the grounds, the gardens are oases of remarkable peace and serenity in the midst of a busy crowded city.

Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall

National Concert Hall in the background

Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall as seen through the outer gate

 A Malayan Night Heron, unafraid, walks near me on the garden grounds.

An early morning runner near the main entrance gate of 

Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Park.

It was early morning, and the air was still cool enough to enjoy a walk without the heavy humidity that would settle in later that day. Other than the rustling of the waters now and then where the koi were gathering, the pond was still and calm.

I’ve always loved the beautiful lotus flowers. They carry thousands of years of meaning and symbolism, from culture to culture, from faith to faith. They rise up from the muddiest of depths, pure and unsullied, day after day. I’m told, though I didn’t stay long enough to see it, that the lotus flower dips down into the water or mud every evening, only to rise again in the morning, once again renewed, sparking clean and fresh. There is plenty of powerful symbolism in that alone!

When photographing one of the blossoms, what really caught my eye was the lotus leaf next to it.

Somehow it invited my attention. I was drawn to it again and again.  It was single, not overly stunning in beauty compared to the flower next to it, but I couldn’t help admire.

Beads of rain water collected on its surface, pooling in the center. A little drop here, a little drop there, all collected by the cupped outstretched hand of the lotus leaf.

I really liked that. It brought me somehow a spirit of peace and happiness.

I saw the outstretched hands of grateful people, receiving - and then dispensing to others - blessings throughout their lives.

Blessings are all around us.  They may seem like little things at first, a little kindness from someone, a whiff of flowers on a nearby shrub,

the adorable cuteness of a little child following us or the sound of a harmonica being played somewhere in the garden. Blessings shared in the pigeons that held still, calm and unafraid, lining up on the bridge they had long ago claimed as their own. Gifts from the Giver of all good things.

D&C 88:33 – For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him and he receive not the gift?  Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift.

What blessings, gifts, and joys are all around us, that we might be missing?  We can see the hand of the Lord all around, and those little gifts pool deeply in our hearts as we collect them, and then share them outwardly with others.

Our hearts are lifted. We walk in a spirit of daily gratitude. Sometimes it is easy to get too distracted with the busyness of life – with the noise and drama and work – the shuffling back and forth here and there – and one might miss the tender mercies of the Lord.  But when we take time to look, to reach our hands outward and upward, we will find little beads of blessings collecting on the edges of our lives, being drawn inward into our hearts, and then outward as we share them with others.

                                      Thank you - lotus leaf. 

Henry David Thoreau – “An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.”

The Day to Day Work of an "Office Specialist"

The other office couple - doing their work

Not all senior missionary assignments are created equal, not even "office specialist" assignments. Our mission has two office couples.  The one couple does the finance and mission secretary assignments. They help keep everything running straight and organized for the whole mission.  It’s a busy job!  

Elder Coffey and I were assigned to be the Housing Coordinators.  We do all things related to the missionary apartments – inspections, repairs, contracts, finding new apartments, moving missionaries, closing out their old apartments, organizing the dazzling array of keys that no longer fit any of these apartments, and keeping the finances in order relating to rents, utilities, management fees, etc. With it we get to use the mission van to travel over the entire mission, seeing the beautiful island, as we stay busy hauling, lifting, loading, unloading, carrying, moving, crawling. It's busy too!

Keys!  Lots of them! But to which apartment do they go???  Ha!

Teaching the Elders the basics of dyer rep

We usually start our week on Mondays with a staff meeting. The mission president and his wife and the senior couples meet together to coordinate and plan upcoming mission events. Then Elder Coffey and I make plans for the rest of the week. At least two to three days each week we spend out on the road - doing apartment inspections, repairs, moves, or finding apartments. Those assignments take us to all areas of the mission, by use of the trusty mission van, affectionately named by the missionaries, "The Beast." 

The others in the office whisper to us in passing, as they see us hauling, driving, moving, cleaning - “We are SO glad we don’t have YOUR assignment!” Yet we look at them behind their computer and desk and think the exact same thing – so glad we don’t have THEIR assignment!  As tiring as our work can be, it keeps us on the go with a variety of non-behind-the-desk assignments.

Our two senior single sisters

We also have two senior single sisters here in our office. The one from Taiwan works with all the YSA’s  (young single adults ages 18-30) in the 5 Taipei stakes, and has made a HUGE impact in the success of the weekly YSA and institute programs. The other is from the States and, as a former high school counselor, visits with all the missionaries one on one to encourage, strengthen, and help them manage stress, learn educational and vocational self reliance, and plan for post-mission goals. She is known as the Happy Sister, because she endeavors to teach the missionaries how to recognize the happiness all around them. They love her!!

So many kinds of missions for so many people!  As a Senior Missionary you may find that you will begin to tailor-make your own mission as you go along – depending on your interests and talents and desires.

For example - in addition to our housing assignment, we lead a weekly English conversation group for the advanced group.  This is a true highlight of our week.  We love these students and love sharing with them values and gospel truths while also giving them English conversation opportunities. So much fun!

English group discussion time

Elder Coffey reciting a poem - from his "perch"???

Then we’ve volunteered to teach the YSA’s a bit of USA country round dancing.  We also invite some of the YSA's over to our home for dinner or to go get a fruit drink – encouraging them with their families or studies or work. Everyone wants to talk and share and feel loved and appreciated. 

We have the wonderful blessing of serving as Temple Ordinance Workers in the beautiful Taipei temple. Just a few steps from our apartment, it is a gorgeous place of peace and joy for the many who come from all over Asia.

Our temple assignments are all done in English. There are four couples who serve as full time temple missionaries – serving in the temple is their only assignment. They LOVE what they do and whisper to us in passing, “I would NEVER want to do YOUR assignment!”, yet we wonder the same thing – what would we do with all our spare time if “all” we did was a temple mission?

All of our behind-the-scene work as Housing Coordinators gives us the opportunity to get to know the missionaries more closely.  Most of them are so devoted and hard working.  Missionary work and life is hard – very hard!  But they are troopers, exercising faith in Heavenly Father to lead the way each day as they go out to meet the world. And when faith is exercised, miracles happen. Hearts are changed. People find what they are looking for.  They find Jesus Christ. They find His Gospel and they find peace.

We love working with all the young missionaries!  They are amazing!  We loving hearing their stories - almost daily - of miracles they see in the service they are giving.

Far from being "stuck behind the desk in an office" - we are blessed to be on the go with so much variety, hard work and fun. Is this a spiritually uplifting mission?  Not every day. But then again - a mission is really what you make of it. As we find individuals to minister to, we share testimony, teach doctrine, and strengthen faith. That part IS spiritually uplifting. Seniors are blessed by the Lord as they sacrifice and serve and put Him above all else. There really isn't anything else like it. Serving a mission is all about doing what the Lord wants, not what we want. 

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This blog is mostly dedicated to encourage other seniors to serve a full time mission. We hope it is helping to answer some questions along the way. We certainly had a lot of questions before starting our first mission - and couldn't find where to get the answers. So we decided to share what we are learning - hoping it might help someone else down the road.

Feel free to contact us anytime with any question about serving senior missions. Not that we are experts by any means - but we can share what we've learned on our three missions. We love our missions - they've all been very different - but all so wonderful.

Our senior missionaries and the
mission presidents wife

Best way to reach us? Email - coffey58@gmail.com. We get questions from a number of people considering serving. We are happy to share and discuss these together with you!

The answers won't all come until you move forward with faith and just "do it". I like this message: “Peace is not the absence of trials. It is the presence of Christ.” As you are guided by the Spirit, you will gain the courage to face the unknown and move forward. Missions are wonderful!

Overlooking Taiwan coastline

Beautiful Chinese architecture in the peaceful National Palace Museum

Taipei skyline as taken from our Elephant Mountain hike.

Called to Serve!